What is what to do when an elderly parent refuses medical treatment?

When an elderly parent refuses medical treatment, it's a challenging situation that requires careful handling. Here's a breakdown of the key aspects to consider:

• Assess Capacity: The first and most crucial step is to determine if your parent has the capacity to make decisions. This means understanding whether they comprehend the nature of their condition, the proposed treatment, the risks and benefits of both treatment and non-treatment, and can communicate their decision. A doctor should formally assess their capacity.

• Understand Their Reasons: Try to understand why your parent is refusing treatment. Are they afraid of the treatment itself? Do they distrust doctors? Are they concerned about the cost? Do they prefer to focus on comfort care instead of aggressive interventions? Listen empathetically and without judgment.

• Provide Information: Ensure your parent has all the necessary information to make an informed decision. Explain the potential consequences of refusing treatment clearly and honestly. This should ideally come from the medical professionals involved.

• Explore Alternatives: Discuss alternative treatment options with the doctor. Perhaps there's a less invasive or more palatable approach that your parent would be willing to consider.

• Respect Their Autonomy: If your parent has the capacity to make decisions, their wishes must be respected, even if you disagree. Adults have the right to make choices about their own bodies, even if those choices seem unwise to others.

• Advance Directives: Check if your parent has an advance directive, such as a living will or durable power of attorney for healthcare. These documents outline their wishes regarding medical treatment and designate someone to make decisions on their behalf if they become incapacitated.

• Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare: If your parent has a durable power of attorney for healthcare, the designated healthcare agent can make medical decisions on their behalf, but ideally in accordance with the parent's known wishes.

• Guardianship (as a Last Resort): If your parent lacks capacity and doesn't have an advance directive, you might consider seeking guardianship through the courts. This is a legal process that grants you the authority to make medical decisions for them. However, it's a significant step that should only be taken as a last resort and requires legal counsel.

• Mediation: Consider involving a neutral third party, such as a mediator, to help facilitate a conversation between you, your parent, and the medical team.

• Ethics Consultation: Hospitals often have ethics committees that can provide guidance and support in complex medical decision-making situations. Consider requesting an ethics consultation.

• Documentation: Keep thorough records of all conversations, decisions, and medical information.

• Seek Legal Advice: When in doubt, consult with an elder law attorney who can advise you on your legal options and responsibilities.

It's important to remember that navigating these situations can be emotionally challenging. Seek support from family, friends, or a therapist to help you cope with the stress and emotional burden.